Relationship, Commitment and The Players

Hi! It's surely been a long time that I live my life without writing something. Finally, I have this urge that I really need to write this one and also share my experiences (or others) on this topic.

If you think that this topic is way too mainstream or will bored you, skip it! But if you dare to be bored, WELCOME ABOARD.

"Every person and relationship is different, and there's no magic phrase or action that can 'get' someone to commit," Terri Trespicio

AMEN

Building a relationship or commitment, IMHO, is like building a momentum. You just can't say "marry me, pretty please?" or "it's time for you to give the title to our relationship or I will step away from it." It's like going to a party, music blaring and the DJ playing the most fav. hits and POW! BLACKOUT. Not. Fun.

How can I bring up that topic cause we're human? We need A TITLE to put our mind and heart at ease. I want me to be his (or her if you're a guy reading this post) one and only. The one that he calls at night, his shoulder to cry on, all that touchy things..

"Be yourself. Show him or her your values. Show how exciting your life is with or without him. Show you care but create a little mystery. If he doesn't see how special you are-RUN!" Isni Marina

I laugh at myself when I put my thoughts into that quote. Really, Nay? Is it only a theory of yours or that's the way you live your life?

It was a theory, it was just a quote until one day.

I was in a of relationship before where I was so attracted to this particular person. We were having a good time, hanging out, getting to know each other's habit and personality. Except for one thing. He's in a relationship.

Judge me. Condemned me to hell. You can call me a home wrecker (with Marina & The Diamonds as the background music). But hey, two players are involved in this game. The difference about us was JUST the title. He was in a relationship, I wasn't.

Why did I agree to be involved in that kind of relationship (please note that it was my first time to get that home wrecker title)?

The logic and the heart was in a battle first; should I or shouldn't I? and as predicted, the heart won. I was ignoring the fact that he was in a relationship.

The logic follow later.

I woke up one day and that quote, started to grow on me. I was trying to be mysterious and showed myself how excited my life with or without him. I wanted to see whether he can put a title on us; NOT HAPPENING. I realized then it's time for me to run, flee, hop, rolling, whatever. I also need to thanked my ex cos I was talking to him about this situation and he spontaneously said "NO WAY! You are too good for him! Don't let him take advantage of you!" and that, my friends, the logic talked. Without being narcissistic or whatever, I know that it's not good for me to be in that kind of relationship. What's the point? Hoping that one day he'll broke up with his girl and I'll be the replacement? NAH, thanks.

I solely write this post cos I just want to say the naked truth. For all the players out there, what I'm saying is, you can't force someone to leave the party if he doesn't want to. leave him be and just watch what would he do if you're leaving that party with somebody else. If doesn't make any move, then you're the one who supposed to call it off. Look at the bright side, someone else's willing to leave the party with you! (and he's checking out others. Good for him)

And when he's lingering around in putting that title but you're craving for the "couple" title, make him put it in a classy way. You know, show your values, be who you are, laugh as much as you want, if you're going to fart, fart in a classy way (asking permission is a classy way, no?).

Trying to be someone you're not is so transparent, dear.

If that person can accept us the way we are, then maybe you'll find the pure kind we all dream of.

Cheers,

Nay